Heidi Anfinson with her attorney Alfredo Parrish while pleading guilty to multiple counts of child endangerment in Polk County District Court (John Gapps III/The Des Moines Register / October 28, 2009)
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More than a decade after drowning her two-week-old son, Heidi Anfinson still doesn't know what her future holds, or what the public should make of her
crime.
She doesn't know if she can ever atone for the lies she told, or exactly how much time behind bars she will wind up serving -- this time -- under a new plea agreement she reached Wednesday with prosecutors.
But Anfinson does know this: She is stronger. Whatever comes, she can survive.
"I feel like I'm more Heidi now, if that makes any sense," Anfinson said in an exclusive interview with the Register. "I can actually laugh and have fun. But it's still the first thing I think of in the morning. And I know, there's never going to be a happily ever after. I will never have closure."
Anfinson was released from Mitchellville women's prison last December, after she had spent nine years of a 50-year sentence for second-degree murder for her son's death in 1998. The Iowa Supreme Court decided the now 50-year-old deserves a new trial because her former lawyer, Bill Kutmus, refused to present evidence to the jury of mental illness -- what Anfinson believes was severe post-partum depression or psychosis -- at her last trial.
Anfinson's first trial for murder ended in a hung jury. A second ended with a conviction for second-degree murder.
Following the Supreme Court's decision, Polk County Attorney John Sarcone was faced with having to try Anfinson a third time for a crime that is now 11 years old. Under the plea agreement reached Wednesday -- one she has mixed feelings about -- she will forego another trial and agree to return to Mitchellville.
She pleaded guilty to multiple counts of child endangerment, a forcible felony that requires prison time but no maximum sentence. The result: She could spend as little as a few months more months behind or several years, a decision that will rest with Iowa's parole board.
Does she think she's paid for her crime?
"I am prepared to go back," Anfinson said. "I have always, from the beginning, thought I deserved some punishment for being negligent. But I didn't intend to kill Jacob... And I've punished myself more than prison ever could."
You can read an expanded version of this article at The Des Moines Register's website Thursday morning.
She doesn't know if she can ever atone for the lies she told, or exactly how much time behind bars she will wind up serving -- this time -- under a new plea agreement she reached Wednesday with prosecutors.
But Anfinson does know this: She is stronger. Whatever comes, she can survive.
"I feel like I'm more Heidi now, if that makes any sense," Anfinson said in an exclusive interview with the Register. "I can actually laugh and have fun. But it's still the first thing I think of in the morning. And I know, there's never going to be a happily ever after. I will never have closure."
Anfinson was released from Mitchellville women's prison last December, after she had spent nine years of a 50-year sentence for second-degree murder for her son's death in 1998. The Iowa Supreme Court decided the now 50-year-old deserves a new trial because her former lawyer, Bill Kutmus, refused to present evidence to the jury of mental illness -- what Anfinson believes was severe post-partum depression or psychosis -- at her last trial.
Anfinson's first trial for murder ended in a hung jury. A second ended with a conviction for second-degree murder.
Following the Supreme Court's decision, Polk County Attorney John Sarcone was faced with having to try Anfinson a third time for a crime that is now 11 years old. Under the plea agreement reached Wednesday -- one she has mixed feelings about -- she will forego another trial and agree to return to Mitchellville.
She pleaded guilty to multiple counts of child endangerment, a forcible felony that requires prison time but no maximum sentence. The result: She could spend as little as a few months more months behind or several years, a decision that will rest with Iowa's parole board.
Does she think she's paid for her crime?
"I am prepared to go back," Anfinson said. "I have always, from the beginning, thought I deserved some punishment for being negligent. But I didn't intend to kill Jacob... And I've punished myself more than prison ever could."
You can read an expanded version of this article at The Des Moines Register's website Thursday morning.
